Girls Trip Reassured my 'Reason Why'


We did it, yall. Two days down, three to more to go. Hopefully, this past weekend was as good to you as it was to me. I saw Girls Trip with a group of friends. Don’t worry, I’m not going to spoil it for you if you haven’t had a chance to see it yet.

Side note: Anybody else feel like they got cheated out of a full frontal scene with Kofi Siriboe?

I loved Girls Trip. The storyline was relevant to a lot of women’s lives for a number of reasons. The movie also reassured me of my ‘reason why’ for starting Joy Personified.

So, can we talk about it for a minute?

So many of us force fake smiles and make other people believe that we’re okay. We work even harder to convince ourselves. Based on our social media accounts, life couldn’t be better, right?

When in reality, many of us are walking around ashamed of showing our flaws or carrying the weight of the world on our shoulders.

Don’t even trip. So is everyone else.

There were plenty of mornings, for at least a year and a half straight, where I would avoid looking myself in the eyes while standing in the mirror applying makeup. Didn’t know that it was possible to stand in a mirror without looking yourself directly in the eye at some point, did you? Well, it is. I had a lot of practice. As long as I could avoid really looking at myself, I could continue to stuff down all the things that were tearing me apart on the inside.

Pretending to have it all together, all the time, is a waste of time. You are delaying the process of evolving into the person you’re meant to be. Imagine how much more effective you would be in every aspect of your life if you made time to take care of yourself. Lord knows I grew tired of running on fumes.

When you’re ready, hop off the hamster wheel. Only when you’re truly ready. Use the time, energy and effort you put into trying to hold it all together to invest in self-care. Getting a message, a pedicure or taking a warm bath are all great and hopefully you’re doing them routinely anyway. But, that’s not going to cut it on the days when it feels like the walls are closing in on you.

Not sure where to start on your self-care journey? No worries. I got you, boo!

Feeling down about yourself? Doing more negative self-talk than anything else lately? Try affirmations. When I started doing affirmations, I was just like Mary Jane. Using sticky notes and posting them everywhere. You don’t have to reinvent the wheel, if you don’t want to. There are thousands of affirmations floating around that will apply to your life. Alex Elle is one of my favorites. Check out her affirmations here. Oh, but let me tell you about the sweet soul of a woman named Tracy G. She creates what she refers to as audio visionboards or audio affirmations. Bruhhhh, listening to these audio visionboards is what silenced my vicious cycle of negative self-talk. Let Tracy G. bless your life. Click here to listen.

Overwhelmed? Stressed out? Anxious? Can’t move past a certain situation? Try meditation. I started off doing timed guided meditations because it was difficult for me to focus in the beginning. There are many different methods of meditation also. There are a ton of apps, as well as YouTube videos. Don’t want to meditate alone? I’m almost willing to bet you can find a place that offers meditation where you live. Find what works best for you. Shelah Marie’s Meditation Mixtape might be a good place to start. Here’s a link to her Youtube channel, as well.

You know the drill. As with most things, you get out of self-care what you put into it. Do some research. Try a few different activities out and stick with one that you seem to enjoy it for at least three weeks.

Invest in self-care and watch your perspective on life and how you interact with people, even during difficult times, completely transform.

Love you, mean it.