For at least 13 years of our lives our main job is to go to school and learn as much as we can. However, the most important lessons occur in the most unsuspecting places, by the ultimate teacher; life, itself.
The hunch you got to take a different route on your way to work. Later you found out there was an accident that shut down the highway you would’ve taken if you ignored the feeling you had. The time you took advice from a friend as opposed to following through with your own plan and it came back to bite you in the butt. Similar instances occur in each and every one of our unique lives. They are not one off experiences nor mere coincidences. That’s your intuition! No one knows you, better than you know yourself. Give yourself more credit. You know more about what’s right for you, than you think you do. Trust your own instincts. Get in line with your star player and make sound decisions for yourself based on what you feel is best. Your intuition is a divine, if not the most divine of any other, spiritual gift from a higher power. Use it, sis!
Everybody isn’t qualified to speak into your life…
…even if the advice is coming from a genuine place. Before you accept someone's advice as fact, analyze the person offering help. Consider their basis for knowledge. Does this person have experience relevant to your situation? If so, was there experience positive or negative? Our opinions, thoughts and beliefs are direct results of our own experiences. Apply this same theory to everyone. Mentors, teachers and even spiritual leaders. You might not know many details about the person offering advice, but you know yourself. The uncle that complains because the idea he had 20 years ago is now a multi-million dollar business may not be the best person to discuss your entrepreneurial ambitions with. DM me, and I'll share how I learned this lesson after going to marital counseling at church. I'll give you a hint; I'm divorced. At the end of the day, the only opinion that truly matters is yours.
Every failed relationship offers a valuable lesson
This concept is interchangeable for romantic, family and even professional relationships. You can treat it like an event and go home, study the playback and figure out where you went wrong. Or, you can ignore it and watch the same circumstance present itself in other situations over and over again. Until, you’ve learned your lesson. You repeat what you don’t repair. Think about it. Is there a pattern in your past relationships? What went wrong? Now, remember, the only person you can control in any situation, is you. What part of the pattern are your responsible for? Do the work to change your behavior to avoid making the same mistake again.
Ain’t no cheat codes, bih
Do you feel like you’re watching others around you achieve success in certain areas of their lives that you just can’t seem to figure out for yourself? Are you looking for the answers? Trying to get someone to let you in on their tips, tricks and strategies? Guess, what? There’s only one difference between you and the other person; work. It really is that simple. There’s a very likely chance that the success of the other person is the result of blood, sweat and a few tears. Stop wasting time trying to figure out what someone else is doing. Invest in your own success by finding what works for you. If you truly want something bad enough, you’re going to have to work hard to get it. There are no shortcuts. No one will work harder to achieve your dream than you. It’s yours. That is the only way to start living your dreams. You’ll feel the same sense of accomplishment the other person feels for putting in the work to get what you want out of life.
Protect your peace
Think about the people that you spend time with. Anyone you know always seem to have some sort of drama happening in their life? The drama doesn’t necessarily involve you, but you know all the intimate details. There’s never a discussion of resolutions for these situations, just one “wow, that’s crazy” story to the next. What about the self-proclaimed realist, whose in all actuality a pessimist, that has two negative responses to everything you say and begins almost every statement with the phrase “see what you need to do is…?” Ever feel out of sorts after being around any of them? Well, that’s because energy is transferrable. More importantly, your time and energy are valuable assets that can’t be returned once they are wasted. Say no to the person that is quick to ask you for a favor but leaves you to figure out how to pick up the pieces when you need something. Don’t reply to the text message from the person that continuously disappoints you because you know how the story is going to end. Decline a few invitations to hang out with Real Life Novellas, Negative Nancy’s and anyone else that sucks the effin’ nice right out of you. If more peace is what you desire, set standards for your life that limit or eliminate altogether the time you’re involved with people that drain your energy. You’ll find more time for the things you enjoy and elevate to a whole new level of calm.
My hope is that five lessons I shared encourage you to check yourself before anyone else has the opportunity to do so. Moment of transparency; I struggled to write this because life is chock-full of lessons. Honestly, the life lessons I mentioned, as well as the tons of others I could’ve highlighted are all fundamental concepts you are already familiar with. You have to be present enough in your own life to realize the lesson that’s specific to you. However, the real difference is in applying the knowledge after the lesson has occurred. We are all lifelong learners, whether we realize it or not. Happy learning.
Love you, mean it.